After a glorious week of sunburned perfection in Florida for my Last Ever Spring Break with just about the best friends I could ask for, the realization that I will be a college graduate in less than 2 months has come as a bit of a blow. Not only to I feel that the last 4 years have left me entirely unprepared and ill-equipped to face The Real Word, but there are so many things that no one tells you when they send you off to this magical place of edumacation with some loans and a kiss goodbye! A lot of things are on a continuous loop in my mind, so here are a few that are on the forefront of my brain on this particular Sunday night.
There are the usual fears:
1. Facing the aforementioned loans (while not fully understanding them in the first place)
2. Dealing with all the finances that inevitably come with entering the Real World. This is a more blanket monetary concern revolving around my general inability to comprehend finding my own dentist or leaving the security of my parent’s phone plan.
3. Saying goodbye to the best of friends I only just found in the last few years. Really though. Four years ago, leaving for college tore me away from the fools that somehow loved me throughout all the awkwardness that was the first 18 years of my life. I came to a new state and somehow* managed to find a whole new set of ride or die fools to add to the collection. And now I’m once again being torn away from the people that I have lived the equivalent of an entire lifetime with in the past four years. Who thought up this nuanced form of torture…?
*I actually already know the secret to finding a best friend. All you have to do is cry a lot and eventually quote The Princess Diaries. Piece o’ cake.
4. Not having a job. What was I doing when I was in class the last four years? I know I learned some stuff and wrote a lot of papers and took a bunch of tests, but did I accumulate enough knowledge to attain any sort of employment other than “would you like fries with that”? The jury’s out at this point.
And then there are the semi-irrational-but-probably-totally-rational Tess fears:
5. Why did I pick a Fake Major*? I couldn’t have picked Business or Nursing or at least stuck with Journalism like I originally intended. I just had to switch to something I actually liked, so I spent 2.5 years being completely fascinated by the film and television industries, while not actually honing in on something I really want to do with my life. Stupid stupid stupid Tess. Oh wait, can’t forget about the 7 years of French that lead up to a minor. Thank goodness for that, the day is saved! Now I can just move to France.
*In the past, my major has been jokingly referred to as “fake” by my so-called friends, and I’ve never quite gotten over it.
6. How am I possibly gonna get all the random crap I’ve accumulated (that currently fills one third of a house) halfway across the country?
7. What’s going to happen with the whole boyfriend thing? He’s not exactly a master communicator, which leaves all the Hard Hitting Question Asking to me…which means we’re screwed. It’ll come out like: “Hey, so how ‘bout this whole graduation thing?” Translation: “I love you and quite enjoy seeing your face everyday and don’t really want that to stop, so how’s that going to work when you get a job on the other side of the country?” I know we’re both kinda sorta leaning toward ending up in the same place, but I kinda sorta don’t think that’s gonna cut it.
So basically my mind has been going about a mile a minute since we made the 12 hour drive back to the great state of Texas yesterday. Two months is going to fly by in the blink of an eye (oh good, my back up career as a poet/rapper is still good to go). So if anyone has a copy of the Master Plan I could sneak a peak at, please holler at me ASAP. Cause I’m working under a deadline, and it’s crunch time ladies and gents.
I’ll at least take solace in the fact that I’ve somehow convinced my best friend to come to California and move into my mom’s with me after we graduate, and then embark on Tess and Lauren’s Grand Adventure, also known as Tess and Lauren’s Lives as Beach Bums Who Don’t Even Live at the Beach.
For now, all I have are the wise words of Eminem to guide me through this tumultuous time of unknowns and what ifs.
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
The soul’s escaping, through this hole that is gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Okay maybe this doesn’t even pertain to my current situation, but it’s been stuck in my head for days now so it seems relevant.